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I was in Tesco a couple of weeks ago, calmly perusing the selection of cheap DVDs they had to offer (True Romance for £1.50 anyone?), when a stern female voice sounded over the tannoy..

Could a duty manager please report to the customer services desss whhooooooOOOOPPP!!!

Like a scene from War Of The Worlds, everyone around me stopped browsing the shelves and stopped shoving food into their already overflowing baskets, and slowly turned to face the front of the shop, eyes gazing to the ceiling as if some other-worldly monster was bellowing it's mating call from the top of a tall building.

Tannoy Woman tried again.

*Ahem* Could a duty manager please repoaaahahahahahahahahahAHAHAHAH!!!

This time it was clear that someone standing behind the speaker was tickling her. Bemused stares turned to englightened grins, before returning to their fruit and veg and dairy products, sniggering as they went. A wry grin crept over my face as I went back to the DVD selection, and a second female voice appeared over the tannoy:

*Sigh*. Could a duty manager please report to the customer services desk? Thank you.

Who would have the courage to do that sort of thing whilst someone else was addressing was what essentially the population of a small village over a loudspeaker? Not me, but I'm glad someone did.

I like to take a bottle of Tesco's Apple High Juice to work with me so that I don't have to drink tea and plain water all the time. For the uninitiated, it's simply apple juice that you dilute with water to drink.

For the last few days the tap in our kitchen at work has been broken and so in order to drink my apple juice I have to use water from a bottle of still water. This is fine, except that the bottle is now empty. So where do I turn? The men's toilets.

Yes, that's right. The men's toilets which are right opposite the meeting area we use for client meetings. Fortunately, I actually needed the toilet at the same time as I needed a drink, so why not kill two journeys with one trip and do both?

While there was a meeting in progress I walked straight into the toilet clutching my as-yet undiluted apple juice, created a satisfying and very deep-seated splashing noise as I relieved myself and walked back out again with a glass full of clear greeny-yellow water.

I also made sure I took a sip before I went through to door back to my desk.

There has, on occasion, been the need to have someone come to the house to sort something out, either for maintenance in the house or some other personal reason.Read more »